Pope declares Oxford Comma “a pretty good thing”

Vatican

by Oscar Bernie, Vatican City

While attending a Pampered Chef party in Vatican City last week, I came to the conclusion that I’d had too much Nutella-flavored gelato.  In an attempt to resolve this, I found myself in the restroom at APPROXIMATELY the same time as an unidentified person that I’m perfectly willing to identify as the Pope.

Separated only by a thin barrier wrought of holy tin and inscribed with a lewd phrase (that I won’t repeat herein), I most certainly heard repeated reference to the Oxford Comma.  The probable Pope made several comments including: that it was “a pretty good thing to use”, that it was “all right by (him)” and that it “was probably the only thing keeping barbarism at the gate”.

By this, I would definitely infer that usage of the comma is holy writ and deigned from on high.  From this point forward, I will refer to it as the ‘Holy Comma, begat of Oxford’ in all official correspondence.  In deference to His Holiness and to the current practices of the church, I will also refrain from burning offenders at the stake.

O.

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