July Mailbag — Oscar Answers Your Letters

mailbag

Dear Readers,

I thought I’d take a few moments to answer of few of your thoughtful questions.  Sometimes, as a soon-to-be bestselling author, it’s easy to forget the little people who are going to devote so much time to my works (once they’re published).  So I thought I’d open up the dialogue and give back.  I’ve omitted your super-helpful websites, but I’ve left your names.  No anonymity here, right?  Without further ado, let’s begin:

 

Smellyhands123 writes ….  “It’s going to be finish of mine day, however before finish I am reading this fantastic piece of writing to increase my experience.”

Thank you, Smellyhands.  It’s my goal to increase your experience with my fantastic writing.  I hope you’ve gained a level or two, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

 

BuyAdidas66 writes ….  “It seems that Prunus amygdalus Milk River is taking the hotfoot. The concluding footing of comparing is the position core of these milks. Of flow consumers WHO regain adverse effects on the Milk River typecast wish receive no preference for it. The intellect why citizenry wobble to non-dairy farm milk is lactose intolerance and hypersensitised burden of cow’s Milk River. Since both are non-dairy in nature, then they both are not shamed of milk sugar intolerance side-essence. Both make allergens in them. Glycine max allergic reaction is Sir Thomas More plebeian among children. Only then, hoi polloi ass too be supersensitised to tree kooky and this makes these the great unwashed rid of the employ of Amygdalus communis Milk River.”

BuyAdidas66, I certainly agree.  Milk River IS taking the hotfoot.  But you need to realize that tree kooky doesn’t use the Milk River for washing.  That’s where he uses the restroom.  So you may need to find a new place to drink your milk sugar.  <profuse gagging sounds>  A very common misconception, my friend.

 

What great responses so far.  Mr. Wong Du writes ….  “I will introduce myself I am Mr.Wong du a Banker working in a bank in south Korea Until now I am the account officer to most of the south Korea government accounts …  My proposal is that since I am the account officer and the money or the account is dormant and there is no next of kin obviously the account owner the former president of South Korea has died long time ago, that you should provide an account for the money to be transferred.”

I edited that one a little to protect a few sensitive account numbers.  No worries, Mr. Du, I have forwarded the account information accordingly.  Just send me back emails to jbshearer@gmail.com.  Include “unclaimed millions” in the subject line.mailbag

 

Coachella435 writes ….  “Hi to every , for the reason that I am really eager of reading this webpage’s post to be updated daily. It carries fastidious data.”

Thank you, Coachella.  Great to hear from a fan.  I am certainly trying to update daily with fastidious data.

 

Work4U writes ….  “We offer a “work at home” part-time position “Regional Manager”. This includes processing payments between our partners’ clients and our company, ensure all personal data relating to customers is maintained, accurate and kept discreet, identifying opportunities to improve service delivery.”

Though I am delighted to hear from you, Work4U, I already have a position.  I am a professional writer who will soon be rich.  But no worries.  I will file your information for later.  Friends might need help.  Who knows?

 

From various readers …. “I have lost (insert number) pounds using (insert exotic and interesting new pill) that I saw on CNN.  It’s a really interesting way to trick your body into shedding excess fat.  Check it out here (insert website)”

Thank you all so much for supporting me on my weight-loss journey.  This topic has been really hard for me, and I have a hard time sharing.  But your support is really helping me.  I have purchased a few dozen of these, and — though I’m having a hard time keeping consciousness — I feel like they’re helping.  Thank you so much!!!

 

And one final email, exoticanimalhusbandry.com writes ….  “the most program of a pest control management Mississauga Birkin Hermes carriers worth write often helps get rid of the pests Hermes Birkin 35 to make you become pest free” nearly as he Wolfe indicated buying Real Hermes Birkin, feeling employing the same portable computer you had been using 5 or maybe a 6 years of age before.  hermes outlet for cheap buy hermes womens wallets which could have brought to any craze in opposition to negotiation dispersion and additionally increased reliance upon animal husbwithinry plain NE Hungarian? locating a pest elimination professional services in Mississauga.”

Wow.  Though your name is somewhat disturbing, your message is clear.  Pest control.  Hermes women’s wallets.  <slow clap>  I applaud you, sir or maam.  It could have been any craze in opposition to negotiation dispersion, any at all, but you chose my website.  And now all of my readers get to meet a true friend, nay, a true pest eliminator in Mississauga.  We’ll buy these Hermes bags, and we’ll help you with your … pest problem.  I … really … have nothing more to say to you.

 

Some fantastic emails this month, to be sure.  I’d just like to let everyone know, my Nigerian Uncle and I are proud that I’m growing such a rabid fanbase.  I know that authors can’t pick their fans, and if they could I would choose a far more “normal” crowd, maybe less obsessed with weight-loss and QUALITY Hermes bags, but I’m proud to call you mine.  I should come up with a name for you, my fans.  If anyone has any good ideas, please let me know.

Though I’ve marked your mail as SPAM, know that I love you.  And if I meet any of you in public, please know that the pepper spray, the restraining orders, my karate chop to the throat — it’s all meant to show that I truly value your readership.  Almost as much as I’ll value your money (once it starts rolling in).

 

See you next month,

O.

 

 

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